Inspirational Stories

The following stories provide insights into the challenges that abused children face, and the ways in which Childhelp helps the children to overcome them.

 

BUILDING TRUST

A thoughtful grandmother gave a very nice, cuddly teddy bear to a member of the Childhelp staff, with instructions to pass it on to a child at a Childhelp facility. A six-year-old girl was selected to receive the gift. A staff member, who is male, asked the girl if she would like to have the teddy bear. Her eyes lit up and an excited smile appeared instantly on her little face. Then, as quickly as the excitement materialized, a cloud of fear passed over her face. Her eyes darted anxiously around the room, silently asking, "What do I have to do to get the bear?" Sensing what was on her mind, the staff member told her that if she liked the bear, she could have it. She didn't have to do anything at all, but just take it. Her eyes turned to another Childhelp staff member she had come to trust. Her eyes asked if it was okay to take the bear. The second staff member nodded, smiling approval. The child reached out and took the bear. "Will I ever have to give it back to you?" she asked. "Never," he answered. The little girl hugged her new friend and ran down the hall to show the other children. She explained to them that she'd never have to give the bear back, no matter what. It was hers "just because" it was hers. At Childhelp, we are dedicated to giving each child the belief and experience that they are valuable and lovable, "just because."

   

BUILDING UNDERSTANDING

One night, the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline received a call from a 16-year-old girl who was very upset. She said that her grandparents and a local child protective services agency caseworker were trying to come between her and her parents, because of a misunderstanding. The teen was hesitant to speak further; her parents told her that she shouldn't tell anyone about the situation because "no one understands." Gently encouraged by the hotline counselor, the girl began to open up. The caller said that the grandparents and caseworker didn't understand that her parents needed to educate her and her siblings. The hotline counselor asked what the parents were teaching the children. From her response, it was clear that the mother was engaging in sexual relations with the boys and the father was sexually molesting the girls. The caller said that her parents were teaching them what they would need to know when they got married. When asked how long this had gone on, the teen replied that it had always been this way. Being sensitive to the girl's intense faith in her parents' "good" intentions, the hotline counselor began to carefully explain sexual abuse. She told the caller that, if she had grown up in the girl's home, she also would believe this was an appropriate way to learn about sex. Confused, the girl asked how else anyone would learn what they needed to know when they got married. The hotline counselor responded that most people learn by trial and error, or talking with friends, family members or others. After experiencing the shock of understanding that her grandparents really were trying to help, the caller immediately became very concerned about her younger siblings. The hotline counselor and the teen discussed her options, and the risks involved—both in telling, and not telling, of the abuse. After talking at length about her difficult revelation, the girl decided to call her caseworker and disclose the truth. Many times, the successes at Childhelp are bittersweet. There is happiness—for the girl's decision to disclose her abuse. There is also heartache, for the pain and confusion that she and her younger siblings will experience as a result of their new understanding of the situation.

   

BUILDING RESILIENCE

Like all of the children who live at a Childhelp residential facility, he had a rough start. The boy's mother had severely abused him. The marks on his body indicated that she may have burned him with cigarettes when he was very young. After he was taken from his mother and entered the state system, he went from foster home to foster home because of his behavior. His outbursts included screaming for more than an hour, if given a time out. Eventually, the state referred him to the Village of Childhelp West in Southern California. Over time, the boy became captivated by plants and grew into a devoted gardener. His concern about them was so great that, when some new trees were planted near the cottage where he lived, he warned the groundskeepers that he didn't think they were getting enough water. His interest inspired a Childhelp staff member to ask the 10-year-old, "If you could be a plant, what kind of plant would you be?" He thought for a second and then said, "A Christmas cactus." The staff member asked why he chose that plant. The boy answered, "Because it's a pretty plant and it grows forever. You can just cut off a piece and stick it in the ground and a new plant grows." Like many of the children who come to the Childhelp villages, nature provided this boy with an effective route to healing. He learned that living things need nurturing and regular attention if they are to grow healthy and strong. And, through all of the Childhelp programs, he gained the inner strength and resources to see himself as someone who is capable of growing anywhere.

   

BUILDING FAITH

At the Childhelp residential facilities (the villages), the children participate in a spiritual program. It is one of many programs that help to restore them to health. Recently, a six-year-old boy asked the chaplain, "How does God speak to you?" Chapelman, as the children affectionately call him, said that God usually spoke to him in prayer. "Okay, let's try that," the boy blurted out. "Right now?" the chaplain asked. "Sure," the boy replied. The child went on to instruct the chaplain that he would have to be perfectly quiet to pray. The two sat in perfect silence for about three minutes—an extraordinarily long time for a six-year-old child. Then the boy asked, "Did you hear him?" The chaplain had to admit that he really hadn't heard God speaking to him during that particular prayer. The boy was astonished. "I heard him," he stated in a matter-of-fact way. The chaplain asked what God said to him. "God told me he loved all of the kids of the village and he wants them to be safe," the boy replied. Reflecting upon the incident later in the day, the chaplain realized that God had, indeed, spoken to him…through the voice of a child.

   

BUILDING SELF-WORTH

As part of the Childhelp child abuse prevention program, elementary school children learn about the uh-oh feeling. This is the instinctive, pit-of-the-stomach feeling that something wrong is happening to them. On the third and final day of the training, a second grade boy rushed up to the Childhelp staff member who was teaching the material. "I had a big 'uh-oh' feeling on the bus today!" he said. The boy explained that two bullies pushed him down. He stretched his shirt to show the dirt marks that resulted. When asked if he told anyone when he got to school, he replied that he hadn't. "I wanted to wait for you because you know all about good touches and bad touches and I knew that you would know what to do," he said. The Childhelp staff member praised him for telling someone who would believe him. She reported the incident to the boy's teacher. The teacher said that the boy—a sweet, small child—was often the target of bullies, but he had never been able to stand up for himself before. This incident illustrates how children are empowered by learning that their bodies are their own and that no one has the right to force or trick them into ANY touch that causes them discomfort. The Childhelp abuse prevention programs provide children with the knowledge and skills they need to help protect themselves from harm.

   

BUILDING A BETTER LIFE

A Latino family consisting of a mother and four girls was referred to The Children's Advocacy Center of Manhattan by the children's Law Guardian. The two youngest children (four-year-old twins) had told their mother that their father sexually abused them. In addition, there appeared to be severe domestic violence by the father toward the mother. The referral was made because the local child protective services agency was unable to communicate with the twins, who spoke only Spanish, and it had concluded that abuse was not proven. When the family came to the Manhattan facility, the two older girls openly spoke of the violence against their mother and wanted nothing to do with the father. The twins, however, clung to their mother and were very guarded. The center's family advocate, who is bilingual, spoke to the little girls and eventually persuaded them to talk with a center social worker. The combined effect of the staff's patience, emotional support, language skills, and the center's warm environment created the feeling of safety that the twins needed before they could disclose what happened to them. The twins provided full details of the sexual abuse by their father. The center's staff went to court to advocate on the children's behalf. They presented the children's testimony directly to the judge, who ruled that the father would have no further contact with the children. The mother, who is employed, moved with her four children into a safe apartment. All of the children are doing well in school. Because of the special people and the child-friendly environment at the center, they frequently ask to come back to visit.